She said yes!!!

88 Ways to Tell if You're Chinese.

1. You love to go to $1.75 movies.
2. You love to go to $1.50 movies even more!
3. You don't order sweet and sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a chinese restaurant.
4. You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
5. You drive a Honda.
6. You have custom rims on your Honda.
7. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rearview mirror.
8. You like to eat chicken feet.
9. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
10. You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.
11. You don't mind eating something that is served with the head still on it.
    
12. You look like you are 16.
13. You always look up at women, if you are male.
14. You always look up at Chinese men, if you are female.
15. You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent by them.
16. You only buy used cars.
17. You have more than 5 remote controls in your TV room.
18. You sing Karaoke.
19. You have a custom stereo in your Honda with the custom rims.
20. Your entire house is covered with tile.
21. You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy foot traffic areas.
22. You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.
23. You leave the plastic on your lampshade for 10 years or more.
24. You eat family dinners with the TV on.
25. You love watching Connie Chung, Michael Chang, and Michelle Kwan.
    
26. You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.
27. You can't bear to throw away things.
28. You are an engineer.
29. You're convinced that your dad washes his hair 4 times a year.
30. You hate getting B's.
31. Your house smells like salty fish.
32. Your house smells like Chinese medicine.
33. Your relatives sound like they're arguing, but they're really happy to see each other.
    
34. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
35. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
36. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
37. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
38. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
39. You had a bowl cut before.
40. You sample everything, sometimes more than once, at Costco.
    
41. If you lose a dollar, you dwell upon it for a very long time.
    
42. You feel uncomfortable wearing shoes in the house, even if it's the house of a non-Chinese person.
    
43. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
44. You get a rush from getting a good deal.
45. You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you $5 for that car")
46. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
47. You love to use coupons.
48. You drive around (wasting gas) looking for the cheapest gas.
49. You add twice the recommended amount of water when making drinks from concentrate.
50. You'll squeeze a toothpaste tube down to paper thin.
51. You take showers at night.
52. You'll drive around for hours (wasting gas) looking for street parking instead of paying for parking.
    
53. You've never seen your parents kiss.
54. You've never seen your parents hug.
55. Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
56. You never buy stuff from the concession stands at the movies.
57. You tip 15% or less, and use a calculator to figure it out.
58. You never order dessert at restaurants.
59. You always have water only when dining out.
60. You refuse to use the valet.
61. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
62. You don't mind squeezing 20 people in your Honda.
    
63. You want your dollar back right away from the friend who borrowed it.
64. You get the runs when you drink lots of milk.
65. Most girls have more body hair than you if you are male.
66. You've eaten something that has been freshly killed in your house.
    
67. You have a great love for cameras.
68. Sanrio means a lot to you if you are female.
69. Nothing in your house matches.
    
70. Your fridge stinks.
71. Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.
72. Your parents want to live with you when they are old.
73. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
74. You point to your nose when referring to yourself.
75. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
76. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
77. You know how to play Mahjong.
78. Your parents insist that you marry Chinese.
79. You have to read all your parents' mail written in English.
80. You have to make phone calls for your parents to English speakers.
81. Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home. ("Faan nei lah?")
82. Your parents only use the oven and dishwasher for storing things.
    
83. You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.
84. You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.
85. Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.
86. Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster ("Tung tiu")
87. Your clothes smell like fried foods.
88. You talk at the top of your voice at all occasions.

Ahhhh...California.

How to apologize. <-- A skill every civilized person needs to know.

1. Try your best to know why the other person is hurt or angry.
   This one sounds pretty simple, but I'm surprised how often misunderstandings and arguments come out of me not knowing what's wrong with the situation. Listen to the other person. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Ask if they will let you try to reflect back what they're saying to you, by saying something like "Let me see if I get what you're saying..."  If they agree, try to summarize what you think is going on, with something like "I did ____________, and it hurt you." or "You're angry with me because I ___________." See how the person responds. As long as you're not way off, they will likely revise your statement to make it fit more of what they feel.
   
   
2. Never use words that invalidate their feelings.
   Don't say something that construes the feelings as their fault. For example, don't say something like "You're angry because YOU FEEL like I was selfish when I ________________."  Sticking in words like "you feel" or "you think" can often make the other person feel like you're invalidating their feelings. Even if you're innocent and you weren't selfish, now is not the time to argue with a person's feelings and to make them look irrational.
   
   
3. Never be vague in your apology.
   Be as specific as possible. Go to great lengths to make sure the person knows that you are apologizing for exactly why they're angry and hurt. Something like "I'm sorry that I broke your favorite vase" is better than "Sorry I broke the vase."  Something like "I'm sorry that I was late when you really needed me to be on time" is better than "Sorry I'm late." This avoids the angry comeback "What are you sorry for??"
   It may help to add something like "You have every right to be angry with me." or "I can understand why you were hurt."
   
   
4. Try not to make excuses.
   Don't say things like "I'm sorry there was traffic and I was late" or "I was having a bad day, so I snapped at you." Excuses may or may not be the real reason for your actions, but they don't make the person feel better. Besides, they will probably think to themselves, "that's no excuse. You should've left earlier" or "that's no excuse. You still shouldn't be mean to me." An excuse basically blames something or someone else for your wrongdoing. You want the other person to forgive you, not to excuse you.
   
   
5. NEVER, EVER use IF or BUT in your apology!!!
   I can't stress this one enough. Let's look at each one individually.
   
   The word "IF" invalidates someone's feelings or tries to make them make-believe. NEVER say "I'm sorry if I hurt you" or "I'm sorry if you were offended." There is no IF involved here. The person was definitely offended or hurt by you. NEVER use IF when apologizing. It makes your apology insincere and it makes their feelings look pretend or illegitimate. In fact, I would venture to say that an "if" makes it NOT an apology at all. I get even angrier when I hear someone say "IF" in their "apology" to me.
   
   The word "BUT" is basically a finger-pointer. It's not a real apology. NEVER say "I'm sorry, but you were being so stubborn!" That blames the other person for your wrongdoing. Definitely a no-no.  Or "I'm sorry I was late, but there was traffic" -- that's basically an excuse, blaming something else for your action.
   
   
6. Try to use "THAT I" in your apology.
   Again, this goes back to being specific. Take responsibility for your actions. Say something like "I'm sorry that I ate your last cookie." or "I'm sorry that I wasn't available when you needed me most." That's specific and doesn't include the bad words like "IF" or "BUT". It places the blame solely on yourself, not on the other person or on other circumstances.
   
   
7. Make a sincere effort to make the situation right.
   If you can, fix what you "broke". Be prepared to sacrifice to restore whatever the other person lost, whether it be possessions or reputation. Be thorough and specific. Do this as long as it depends on you. This is one of the keys to a sincere apology. Words are empty if they are not accompanied with action.
   
   
8. Know that forgiveness is their choice, and do not expect it.
   Don't expect them to forgive you. You may ask for it if you feel like it's an appropriate time. Emphasize that you don't deserve forgiveness. "I don't blame you for being angry with me." Forgiveness is a gift. Remember that if you ask for it. "Will you please forgive me?"
   
   
9. Make a sincere effort to change your ways.
   If your relationship with this person is continuing, you can to ask them to help you with this. "Will you help me work on this? Next time I do this, can you let me know?"  You're not perfect. You're probably going to mess up again. Asking for the other person's help is a good way of promising an effort to change. They may say no, but at least they know that you want to change.  It also helps them to know that they shouldn't keep quiet if it happens again. Sometimes people may be tempted to avoid the conflict by just "not saying anything" next time you do something like this, but that is not healthy. Healthy relationships involve communication and reconciliation.

Currently Reading Communicating for a Change: Seven Keys to Irresistible Communication By Andy Stanley, Lane Jones see related

Question of the day.